My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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