hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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