I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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