I'm really into asian looking animals
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
