ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
