we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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