i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
