If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
