at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Randomize
