Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
