Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize