Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
