i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I don't deserve a penis
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
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