just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
