I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
