i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
