yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
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