It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
