when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
