:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
