you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Randomize
