It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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