Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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