i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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