just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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