i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
