1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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