he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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