somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
