atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
But theres a keg here and me gusta
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
