The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
