Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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