I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i love accidental penises.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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