Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
