I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
