you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
