best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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