Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
