so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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