so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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