u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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