i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
