Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
