Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
