Who wears a wallet chain?!
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
