the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Randomize
