They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Randomize
