I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize