You were right. It hurts to walk today.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
