I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
