I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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