yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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