Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Randomize
