Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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