I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
