i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
