Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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