She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Randomize
