I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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