hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
