so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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