would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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