dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
