It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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