I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
