We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
