but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
my god I love twenty year old dicks
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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