i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
