i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
